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It seems like a cliche, you heard it a thousand times, posters and social media are full of people recommending not to give up. LinkedIn shows HR managers with their agile agendas, fragile smiles, or corporate statuses of shared awards by reputable agencies you never heard. Everyone is so "never give up and keep trying." But what if I gave up a long time ago?

Apathy and lethargy are ruling our world. People don't go to vote anymore, they gave up politics, people don't educate themselves, they gave up schools, they don't read books, they gave up stories to tell, or listen to classical music as they can't hear anything but themselves. They don't like immigrants, yet their parents or grandparents came to this country from abroad, they gave up traveling because they are chasing their own tails 9-5. Full of speed and entertainment, full of rock'n roll and drugs and movies, full of dreams and full of shit.

The hate is our new religion

The hate is our new religion. Hate your job, your small cubicle in the middle of open space. Hate the newly appointed first-line manager, number-crunching team leader, the local weather skinny model who probably got what she deserves. Hate the traffic jams every morning on the way to your pathetic work office with screaming managers. Center Leaders, CFOs, Vice Presidents for nameless divisions, or disgusted colleagues who hated the very nature of everything. Hate coming home tired as the horse, turning on the TV and wasting your life, watching new episodes on Netflix or HBO, or whatever the hell you are streaming on illegal sites. Forgetting who you really are and what you have become. Hate your mortgage rate and the party next door on Friday night while you are staring at the white wall, wondering how did you get there. Whitewall. Facebook wall. Instagram wall. Blackout.

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You have probably heard about the "Choose life" quote by Mark Rentboy Renton from Trainspotting. If not, here is the unforgettable opening scene:

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?

Remember the days when you were jumping to the lake or running through the woods with sticks happy? Those days are gone. We are adults now, we work to make money.

So who is it to blame?

Society, school, parents, TV? How many times you fell down and got up? Five, ten, hundred? Every time you fell down, the dirt leaves a mark on you. Just like a sculptor leaves a small mark on the statue. You fell twice, and you have two scores, two tattoos, stigmas. Your parents fell, their parents too. The difference is in the number of get-ups, stand-ups. A miraculous lotto drawing, river card on a poker hand, number 0 on the roulette, or betting on the live tennis match. All of these never come. You ask yourself, why am I going to the same job 9-5 every day, hearing the same bullshits from your managers or vice presidents, neglecting the very nature of you being everywhere else but on the department meeting. You are stuck at the moment, and you can't get out of it (thanks, Bono).

So who is it to blame?

You.

We may fall and stumble, but shall rise again; it should be enough if we did not run away from the battle. -- M.K. Gandhi

So why are you saving the world spreadsheet by spreadsheet? Do you really like to copy and paste from one screen to another so that you can produce the report nobody reads? Why don't you ask yourself, is this where I wanted to be 5 years ago?

If you justify it with "I am just gaining experience, or this is just an interim period before I hit the big world," chances are you are not. It goes back to your education, to your practices before getting a job.
Some students preferred to skip classes, reading the minimum requirements, or passing just with Ds. Some took the hard path getting new books, extra work, or study so that they can understand the complexity of the world, whether it is economy or neurology or running. We have "aspirin doctors," and we have brain surgeons, we have financial analysts who copy-paste, and we have economists in the Think Tanks or World Banks. You chose the easy way so you should not complain.

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Too pessimistic, no way out?
Mistake.

There is always a way out. All you need is a will and last drop. If the last fall is not coming, the stronger the will you must have. If the last drop is here, take the opportunity and say goodbye and start running. Have you seen the scene from Forrest Gump movie where he just started running? Start running. Be free again, and do whatever you wanted to do. Oh, you have family and kids and mortgage now? So what, that never was an obstacle in your own prison of mind! It is just an excuse to continue one more month, 10 more years.

Indeed not everything is in your hands. If you, however, want to experience something new, you must try something new. Choose one thing which you always wanted to do and devote time to it every week. Whether it is painting, programming, learning a new language, or running. You would be surprised by the improvements you made in 6 months. All you need is to keep trying. The bucket lists really do work. The last two years (ever since I made a bucket list), I have climbed Kilimanjaro, made driving license for large motorcycle, completed Spartan Race Trifecta, finished 11 marathons, watched whales jumping in the ocean or started to write a novel.

All is in your head.

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The author is a Runningstars volunteer.

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